Nucleus 2

Grant me courage to make a positive change for the future, my future, our children’s future for I am the nucleus of this moment

I Love You Even More

 

And today I return

As I stand by the frozen waterside I give thanks for the moment I

 touched you

Even though getting so close to you I can see your imperfections

the vines of poison ivy, the age chips in your bark

Oddly so they

make me love you

even more

 

121313

Goodbye John Lennon

 

The moment I am alone is the crying time
I want to be strong and let go but I just cry

I found a turtle this morn then tapped it with a branch as I smiled at my great find

To my dismay it was dead

Now it drifts past me with moss upon its head as I stand on the banks helpless

I cannot save it
It is beyond my reach

It is dead
I cannot remove this turtle
from my view
 

I can look elsewhere
but I know it is by my side no matter which direction I choose to look

Why did it die? Why did I see this today? What does this mean to me?

 

 

43003

Till We Meet Again



In this hot summerlike day in April 2002

I feel completely renewed

as a new green leaf pushes itself out to greet spring

a honeybee buzzes around my toes

a black Lab barks in the distance

I can hear the chiming songs of a lark and sparrow

the silent spring waters twinkles in the noontime sun

Honeysuckles whisper “till we meet again.”

Now I am revisiting you in 2011

… yes, we sing again

Thank you.

Now I am revisiting you in 2013

…yes, we meet again

I give thanks for sharing this song of spring while I sit here the doldrums of fall

on the cusp of winter.

 Thank you for this brief moment

of reprieve.

4162

Serenade

 

And for this moment I thee wed within laughter love, joy and serenity 

Oh one up high I think of you this morn and jump for joy at your presence

Oh how the bird doeth sing

Oh how each autumn leaf flowers in gemstone colors of the day

Oh sweet lights from above

Oh how my love for you, undying love flows

 

Jubilation

I dance within your breezes and smile within your kind sunlight upon my cheek

with a soft morning kiss 

now a new day has begun

and for each and everyone of these moments I give thanks

These are the same waters I come to everyday but today you have chosen to serenade me

        110513 

Woe is Me

 

And now the waters have resided. The rock which was mistaken as a turtle shell is now clearly

a rock, a rock, a rock.

I sit by the waterside numb to life.

Oh what happened to the memories of yesteryear, of yesteryear? I shed no tear for this rock does not cry.

Oh gravity which keeps me bound

Oh words that keep me alive, I bow to you in these times of need.

Oh, spring waters how the sunlight dances upon you.

Oh autumn leaves how you gingerly stumble by.

Oh life, oh nature why must the sun set? Why must the sun rise?

Here I stand eagerly awaiting answers for all I hold are questions. 

There are no signs of support and love, only nature surrounds me.

As I sit upon your dry ,solid ground I spy a leaf being supported by an upright broken weed.

The wind it blows strong but this leaf remains anchored.

 

111913

Pathway

 

With your love lead me on the pathway of healing.

Lead my family on the pathway of healing.

Lead the people of the Philippines on the pathway of healing due to the horrific typhoon.

Oh strong and sturdy tree I look to you for healing but do I realize you suffer too and today I can see the poison ivy or I believe it to be so. And now I know even you are not completely pure and free yet you stand tall and strong.

 

My legs are weary this morning and I can’t find my seat. The morning dew is my wall. I walk forward to my spring waters, my pond, for inspiration and comfort. You are my serenity. Today I think I spy a dead turtle. Oh, why today? The sun shines so strong today that I must turn my back to see the blue skies. I do believe, I must believe that within our next moments the sky will remain blue.

 

101013

Reshape

 

Each step

I choose to take

reshapes

my life

42305

At the End of the Day

We may see beauty

but if it makes us feel darkness

then let it go

because at the end of the day

it is all about the message

it leaves us

91913

Deep Marks

 

And now there are deep tire marks and an old TV thrown into my pond.

Every time I come to you, you cry for help.

What am I doing?

Nothing but wishing this obstacle away.

“Effort, tell me about effort”  

When did I start giving up?

A long, long time ago.

Too many years to say but it hit a point where null became acceptable.

 

But truth be told it was never acceptable

Yet it felt like it was the only thing I was able to do.

Life had ended so many times.

Why does my shadow face me when my back is to the sun?

Why do the leaves of summer drop to the ground today? 

Why is this withering vine facing me now?  

Spring has long left and summer a distant memory.

Leaves of brown, chilly breezes

A rustling animal in the woods is preparing for winter, preparing for winter. 

I will get that abandoned TV out of our pond NOW.

The waters have receded and I know I can reach it.

Yes, I just removed it!

But questions remain

“Where should I put it? Is it too heavy to carry it to the curb? Do I feel too uncomfortable doing so? Will someone else take it away if I leave it out in a prevalent place?”  

 

“Try... do what I can.”

It is time for me to meditate and hopefully find some answers

or just peace of mind.

 

102113

Caring Support



Just because there is a possibility for doom

does not mean I must always live in fear

Let myself live moment by moment,

hour by hour

day by day

week by week

anticipating, acknowledging and accepting peace

Let it flow through every cell of my body

 

If darkness or threats appear

may I be mindful and wise  

It is not necessary to carry the weight of the world upon my shoulders 

Free myself of them

Do something to help others 

It doesn’t have to remedy all

 

Just make a

small

effort to show my caring support

        62113                           

Light and Clarity

 

To me g-d is nothing but light, love and peace

All has experienced it

Within stillness we can feel 

Clarity

 

92413

 

 

 

Graduation

 

In the light of kindness and peace…today on my morning walk to my pond, I picked a flower and took it with me on my journey wondering what I should do with it. I carried it for awhile and then had forgotten that I have been carrying it. I noticed it again, so beautiful yet wild.

When I arrived at my destination, I pondered, "Where should I leave it?" I knew it would not be returning with me. With no doubt in my heart, I knew leaving it there was the right thing to do . I spied a lovely spot near the edge of the forest. I put it down and could see it radiating there with its beautiful contrasting white petals against the lush green grass. I smile endearingly and touched it again witnessing its beauty. My little flower is there and I am here...and so it shall be for now.

 

71413

Tell Me of Love

 

 

 

The air…light as a free-floating  feather 
 

Whispering  sunsets, a’ fore night

Twinkling  diamonds beyond stars, time and flight 
 

Intense crystal prisms, against  mossy skys
Love’s a blue florescent butterfly, I cannot tell why
 

Emerging from its cocoon, awakening wings, ready to fly

Bursting juices of ancient pomegranate, eucalyptus waters, velvet the nye 
 

Ancient hearts beat, echoing of the drum

True happiness I hear, my life has begun
  

We dance, gypsy tangos, laughter fills the air

The joy, of joys, my true love is here
 

Birth from the egg, contours of your lip

Memories of our past, from your eyes, I do sip
  

Smoothness of the mango, sweet smiles upon your face

Who cares about time, when all I see is lace 
 

Oh, how doth my heart long, that is how my story goes

For a kiss upon your brow, a stroke upon your toes
 

Rhythms of the waltz, each melody doth grow

Sonatas I hear, as my harp strings grace, soft and flow 
 

Magnificent skies of violet, orange and blue

I can see in your eyes, this moment’s for you 
 

As morrow’s moon, rises, rises above

Oh, how doth my heart long, yet sparkles with love 
 

I whisper your name upon each midnight sky

Echoes eons, of eons, of eons gone by 
 

Now freedom’s bees have arrived

Sharing honey with you, only you, ‘tis no surprise
 

Hummingbirds sing, flutter in flight

Oh, how I’ve dreamt, dreamt of yesterdays night 
 

My love for you never falters, oh, how these moments grow

Your sweet, tender touch, your kind, gentle glow
 

Busy are we, for daybreak has come

We take our last dance, as the moon welcomes the sun 
 

I dream of billowy bed linens, draped silken white

This moment I soar on the strings of a kite 
 

My springtime arrives, the white dove doth fly

Love, an olive branch carried up thru the sky 
 

You, my oasis, my well of delight

Crystal covered mountains, you are my light

 

10101

Grateful

Today I come to you with a clear mind and able body. There is hint of coolness in this spring air. The sky is a cloudless blue and peace prevails. For these moments of serenity I am forever grateful.

61513

 

My Girls, My Light

I cannot see my light

I cannot control its speed

It just flows

110704

Batter of My Soul

At times my head may lie heavy, but this morning is magical with a visit from a butterfly which resembled “Angels”, a pet butterfly we had with a broken wing. When it landed in front of me today, my heart could feel your presence. I welcomed a new neighbor and when I arrived at my pond the sunbeams were dancing upon the waters.  

Within seconds I have noticed a great change. With each gentle breeze the waters morph from dancing lights of summer to windy ripples of autumn to stillness of winter and so the seasons change before my eyes. Even though it is only late August, I am witnessing these changes and so the circle goes round and round, round and round.

In my meditation today I felt comfort and support. You put your arm around me as I anticipate change and for that moment I knew change could be a good thing...an awakening stirring the batter of my soul.

Translucency

And so you have landed on the branch of the wild raspberry bush. You there and me here gazing upon your streamline body. So many people are mesmerized by your unique beauty but for me I just stand staring at you, my dragonfly. I don’t know if it’s my blurred vision or just when your wings are facing the sun they seem to disappear. In your stillness and the way you are perched, it appears as if you not separate but part of the branch.

Today hunger calls me but my little dragonfly, I am drawn to you. Every time I see you from a different angle and spy these translucent wings again, I smile. Before my meditation I asked to be led onto a path of good health… not just to be led but become part of this path with strength to defeat my transparent enemies of sleep and loneliness, then fly with my radiant wings into the sun awaiting your smile.

82513

Giant Irises

 

Oh Joan, take off your gloves and walk with me…

 

 

Life is full of choices and I have made some bad ones and I have made some good. Today I may or may not walk alone, but you are always my destination.

I have dreamt of returning to you. Many days have passed without your company but today I have returned. Oh joy! I am sitting here by your side again. 

To you I come in sadness and joy. A contemplative place soon to be a place of giant irises… for one fitful early morning  I brought to you some hearty bulbs from my garden and planted them by this waterside so in the spring...may we bloom together.

 

81913

Wild Weeds

 

Some

wild weeds quest

only to be touched

before

they surrender their roots

    5236

Why I Write

 

These words from my journals stir from my inner spirit

and have given me a greater appreciation and desire for a deeper sense of prayer and gratitude.

Every word that has been written here was born out of a quest

to share with others for greater self discovery.

 

72913

Vision

 

 

Picture

peace

 

Live that

vision

72213

Humble

 

There is nothing

as humbling

as peace.

 

893

How to be at ONE

 

Step outside for a moment if not longer

Do not walk on a paved surface and listen to the ground beneath you

 

The sssss of the sand 

The hollow thud of the clay echo

The sh-sh-sh of the grass  

under your feet

Acknowledge your feet touching the ground

 

Life to life

Life making contact to life  

LOOK AROUND AND WITNESS

Soothing sunsets

Mighty trees

Wild flowers

Unbridled fauna 

SHUT YOUR EYES

 

 LISTEN

to the sounds of nature

Cresting ocean

Songs of the birds

Bark of a dog

Hush of a breeze

Howling of the wind

Pitter-patter of the rain  

FEEL

Morning dew and crisp air as you breathe through your nostrils

Heat of the sun upon your cheek

A cool breeze against your skin 

SMELL

Sweetness of spring flowers

Dampness after an autumn shower

Frigid clean air of winter

Musty heat of summer  

TASTE

Open your mouth wide

Stick out your tongue and taste

It may feel cool from the air touching your tongue

Taste a crumb of food you had for breakfast

Woodsy taste from first waking up

The salty ocean air 

These are just a few sensual experiences that connect me to the earth 

REMEMBER

the earth is our planet

It doesn’t end at the ground

It includes everything that lives

in

on

and above

 

6703

Forward

 

No matter which way

 we step from this moment, we step forward

We may step to the right

We may step to the left

We may feel as though we are stepping backwards but it is always forward

That’s the way time works



103004

One

During my walking meditation today I picked a little blossom and thought, “I will hold this until I forget about it and when it becomes insignificant I will just drop it mindlessly”. But I didn’t drop it for I thought of when you hold me. In that moment the blossom and I were no longer separate; we had a purpose. 

When I reached my meditation spot I thought, "Where does this belong?

In the water…

No, for I did not want to just toss it away.

In the brush…

No, I did not want it to blend in or be lost.

On the edge of the woods were two small hearty yet delicate leaves of a soothing and comforting green. I decided to put the blossom between them on the ground. 

For in this moment, I saw what was once simple and insignificant alone became so meaningful when we became one.

6913

 

Gifts

 

Gifts are everywhere. It’s hard to contain them to my meditative walks.

I am not average and ordinary so why do I feel I should act that way.

Accept my gifts with graciousness.

 

112304

Hole In the Sky

 

“You know where mommy goes to meditate,” I stated.

 

“To the pond,” my three year-old daughter guessed.

 

“Remember when we were looking at that beautiful photograph yesterday of all of those white clouds on a grey day and it had an opening in the center of pure blue.”

 

“Oh now I remember...you go to the hole in the sky.”

 

102594

A Question of Space

 

When a life form is born

as it comes out of its mother

does space and energy reform

around it

or are they absorbed into part of

the existing whole?

10132

Focus 3

One cannot change the past
but can change
the focus on those memories

51813

Goals

It’s OK to set a goal and not attain it today.

51213

My Support

Just remember

the great Redwood trees may stand the tallest

yet their roots are so shallow

it takes the roots of many others

to support it

and

hold it upright

112004

My Truth

 

What I believe in is my truth.

9165